Aunt Mel and Uncle C

We loved having aunt mel and uncle chris here visiting for a week. Thank you for your understanding of how hard it is to go anywhere with 2 kids under the age of 2 as a currently single mom! I really appreciated all your help and all the trips to the park and play activities at home you did with iz. And of course all the bouncing and jiggling of bodes. and then the night of babysitting. Thank you Chris for the opportunity for me to have some much needed one on one time with my sis.

Mel, as always I had such a good time with you. Thanks for everything. Thanks for the pep talks on parenting, your positivity and encouragement. and of course the cupcakes! =) I love you and miss you already.

outlook = return to work

Next week I start back to work, and all I can think of is that I want to stay home with my babies.

I tell myself the following on a regular basis...
-be thankful for the flexiblity and great schedule
-you don't have an option and need to help support the family so make the best of it
-it won't be bad once you get adjusted back to it

but as the day grows closer the pit in my stomach grows bigger and i feel the tears well in my eyes. I thought...maybe if I blog about it some new insight or peace will come...

but for right now I will enjoy the memories of my days home with my babies...the precious days that have not all been fun, that have taught me a new level of patience and a new depth to love

here's to all the dance parties in the living room- of which I could never get a clear picture. =)


watching iz love on her little brother



days where iz never needed clothes, and loved it- playing around the house with one boot on, her hair covering her eyes, marker and sticker tattoos -perfectly happy trugging around "doing nothing"



watching my new babe grow



I think I'm afraid that by going to work I am somehow neglecting my children, my family. That they will be worse off because of it. That they will be sad, upset, impacted in a negative way. and... that I will look back and feel like I missed out, that I wasn't there for them all the time, that I didn't do everything I could...regret.
I'm afraid I won't have enough time to go to the park together, to have lazy mornings, outings to get ice cream, dance parties...to read, cook, invent, color, share. There it is again the pit in my stomach. the weight of the responsibility , to ensure that my darlings, my family are well taken care of, happy, well adjusted, loved enough...oh it makes my heart ache.

But I will be there for them. I will love them, care for them, do my best to ensure a loving and patient caregiver will be with them while I am not, engage with them, nuture them...I will do the best that I can.
This is true
I will miss these days

...and now after i've looked and read this post a few times I feel full of gratitude. grateful for what i have in my life. my 2 beautiful babies. healthy and strong. my loving husband. my job that provides us with money to pay our bills and buy clothes, diapers, and ice cream for special treats. grateful that i can be home when they wake up from their naps, hear iz call "moooommm!!" and take afternoon trips to the park , watch dora and dance with iz during the song parts, nurse my bodie, and make dinner together. and then thursday night when i know I have all day friday with you!! here's to pancake breakfasts together on the weekends, lazy friday mornings of lounging around the living room and watching you play and grow or trips to friend's houses or to the playroom or out to the coffee shop for a treat. I am so lucky.




i love you my darlings

a usual day

almost every morning I wake up and tell myself, "tonight I will go to bed early!" and every night when the kids are finally asleep I can't resist the urge to sit down with a cup of tea and a few goodies and look at the pictures I've taken throughout the day, wanting to do anything to not forget the good times at home with my kiddos that day...checking on bodes sleeping on the couch cushion next to me and listening to iz's bedtime music on the monitor....checking the clock telling myself- just 5 more minutes...

Today was both a momentus and a usual day. First we ventured to target...all 3 of us! Bodes is the Bjorn and Iz in the cart...and we survived! My own excitment over new art supplies resulted in a cart full of the essentials plus finger paints, pipe cleaners, sparkly puff balls, and googly eyes. Iz was especially excited about the fingerpaints!

you may notice in the pictures she is wearing underwear! Don't be fooled...not potty trained! Yet anyway. The last few days she has been so into going potty in her little potty. Of course she was running around in the buff mostly. Turns out I think she thinks the underwear is like a pull up- went through 2 pairs then mom decided to go back to in the buff. ha! anyway...for memory sake a pic of her potty and potty chart

After lunch and naps we lounged around upstairs and iz found some toys that kept her busy for the afternoon. I never knew I could be so incredibly happy laying on my bed with bodes in my lap and listening to biz narrate her play- unwrapping presents (read=pantyliners). Biz you crack me up.


Bodes hung out on my legs while I tried to get a good picture without letting him tumble over.

he also recently found his hands, so spent some time chewing on them, ah the work of babies-

I've always wanted to "make" popsicles during the summer. Iz approved and had 3 propel water popsicles before bed while bodes laid on the bed and laughed at the light fixture-one of his favorite things


and after dinner and bath -complete with crying and screams that have become normal to me, we read books and both babes now sleeping soundly.

oh how I will miss these days.
it doesn't get much better than this.

but i'm sure i will miss this hour and a half in the morning...

the many faces of bodes

Summer

we miss you daddy

Graham is overseas currently in Spain on a work trip. We have been looking forward to our daily skype with him and iz gives him "hugs and kisses" then promptly says "bye daddy" and asks to watch elmo on the "pacuter" (translate computer). I convince her that we should talk to dad for longer! Bodie loves it and waves his arm and smiles big smiles. We miss you babe, and can't wait for you to be home!

izzy's first polished nails!