park time

A "penny" in my day is when I stub my toe or say "ah!" iz calls out, "you okay mom?!" and when she gets hurt she says "I'm okay" and to bun bun when he gets hurt.." are you okay muns? don't worry I'll help you!"


We try to get to the park by our house atleast once a day. Iz loves to walk there and it only takes us about 30 minutes to go 2 blocks, lol- as she stops to splash in puddles, smell the flowers, and look at ants. She is a teacher in how to relax and enjoy the little treasures. Thanks for the reminder iz.

Iz gets practice (with much encouragement) giving turns at the park, watching what she wants like a hawk and then saying "izzy's turn with stroller, swing, etc." when she finally gets a turn. The swing, balls, and little stroller are all prized park toys! I feel proud when she gives a turn and is able to find something else she is excited to do.

The swing is still her favorite. Today at the park when I asked if she wanted an underdog she said "no, i want an undercat!" I literally laughed out loud. She also likes to look at things upside down and say "hey, youre upasidown!" -just some little pennies I don't want to forget.

Last night iz and i (and bodes watched!) made pizza and today oatmeal cookies- yummy! I love cooking, and have missed it since things have been so busy around here. Iz loves to help, and keeps me on my toes to make sure in the time I turn around the flour isn't on the floor or she isn't licking dough with raw egg in it...a new adventure each time. Nothing like enjoying warm oatmeal cookies and green tea with your kids to make an afternoon extra special.

Aunt Mel and Uncle C

We loved having aunt mel and uncle chris here visiting for a week. Thank you for your understanding of how hard it is to go anywhere with 2 kids under the age of 2 as a currently single mom! I really appreciated all your help and all the trips to the park and play activities at home you did with iz. And of course all the bouncing and jiggling of bodes. and then the night of babysitting. Thank you Chris for the opportunity for me to have some much needed one on one time with my sis.

Mel, as always I had such a good time with you. Thanks for everything. Thanks for the pep talks on parenting, your positivity and encouragement. and of course the cupcakes! =) I love you and miss you already.

outlook = return to work

Next week I start back to work, and all I can think of is that I want to stay home with my babies.

I tell myself the following on a regular basis...
-be thankful for the flexiblity and great schedule
-you don't have an option and need to help support the family so make the best of it
-it won't be bad once you get adjusted back to it

but as the day grows closer the pit in my stomach grows bigger and i feel the tears well in my eyes. I thought...maybe if I blog about it some new insight or peace will come...

but for right now I will enjoy the memories of my days home with my babies...the precious days that have not all been fun, that have taught me a new level of patience and a new depth to love

here's to all the dance parties in the living room- of which I could never get a clear picture. =)


watching iz love on her little brother



days where iz never needed clothes, and loved it- playing around the house with one boot on, her hair covering her eyes, marker and sticker tattoos -perfectly happy trugging around "doing nothing"



watching my new babe grow



I think I'm afraid that by going to work I am somehow neglecting my children, my family. That they will be worse off because of it. That they will be sad, upset, impacted in a negative way. and... that I will look back and feel like I missed out, that I wasn't there for them all the time, that I didn't do everything I could...regret.
I'm afraid I won't have enough time to go to the park together, to have lazy mornings, outings to get ice cream, dance parties...to read, cook, invent, color, share. There it is again the pit in my stomach. the weight of the responsibility , to ensure that my darlings, my family are well taken care of, happy, well adjusted, loved enough...oh it makes my heart ache.

But I will be there for them. I will love them, care for them, do my best to ensure a loving and patient caregiver will be with them while I am not, engage with them, nuture them...I will do the best that I can.
This is true
I will miss these days

...and now after i've looked and read this post a few times I feel full of gratitude. grateful for what i have in my life. my 2 beautiful babies. healthy and strong. my loving husband. my job that provides us with money to pay our bills and buy clothes, diapers, and ice cream for special treats. grateful that i can be home when they wake up from their naps, hear iz call "moooommm!!" and take afternoon trips to the park , watch dora and dance with iz during the song parts, nurse my bodie, and make dinner together. and then thursday night when i know I have all day friday with you!! here's to pancake breakfasts together on the weekends, lazy friday mornings of lounging around the living room and watching you play and grow or trips to friend's houses or to the playroom or out to the coffee shop for a treat. I am so lucky.




i love you my darlings

a usual day

almost every morning I wake up and tell myself, "tonight I will go to bed early!" and every night when the kids are finally asleep I can't resist the urge to sit down with a cup of tea and a few goodies and look at the pictures I've taken throughout the day, wanting to do anything to not forget the good times at home with my kiddos that day...checking on bodes sleeping on the couch cushion next to me and listening to iz's bedtime music on the monitor....checking the clock telling myself- just 5 more minutes...

Today was both a momentus and a usual day. First we ventured to target...all 3 of us! Bodes is the Bjorn and Iz in the cart...and we survived! My own excitment over new art supplies resulted in a cart full of the essentials plus finger paints, pipe cleaners, sparkly puff balls, and googly eyes. Iz was especially excited about the fingerpaints!

you may notice in the pictures she is wearing underwear! Don't be fooled...not potty trained! Yet anyway. The last few days she has been so into going potty in her little potty. Of course she was running around in the buff mostly. Turns out I think she thinks the underwear is like a pull up- went through 2 pairs then mom decided to go back to in the buff. ha! anyway...for memory sake a pic of her potty and potty chart

After lunch and naps we lounged around upstairs and iz found some toys that kept her busy for the afternoon. I never knew I could be so incredibly happy laying on my bed with bodes in my lap and listening to biz narrate her play- unwrapping presents (read=pantyliners). Biz you crack me up.


Bodes hung out on my legs while I tried to get a good picture without letting him tumble over.

he also recently found his hands, so spent some time chewing on them, ah the work of babies-

I've always wanted to "make" popsicles during the summer. Iz approved and had 3 propel water popsicles before bed while bodes laid on the bed and laughed at the light fixture-one of his favorite things


and after dinner and bath -complete with crying and screams that have become normal to me, we read books and both babes now sleeping soundly.

oh how I will miss these days.
it doesn't get much better than this.

but i'm sure i will miss this hour and a half in the morning...

the many faces of bodes

Summer

we miss you daddy

Graham is overseas currently in Spain on a work trip. We have been looking forward to our daily skype with him and iz gives him "hugs and kisses" then promptly says "bye daddy" and asks to watch elmo on the "pacuter" (translate computer). I convince her that we should talk to dad for longer! Bodie loves it and waves his arm and smiles big smiles. We miss you babe, and can't wait for you to be home!

izzy's first polished nails!

iz biz 22 months old!

It's hard to believe my iz biz is 22 months old already! With the on-going realization of how fast time flies I feel urged again to try to capture everything I can in writing and with pictures so we can look back to together during times you may ask me in the future...what was I like when...?

So here we are- you are 22 months old! You are at times a crazy ball of energy!! Where does it come from?

You love playing at home, in the backyard, and at the park! You love swinging at the park and on your baby swing here at home. You love all kinds of balls, and will pick up your bat and ball and say "baseball game". lol. You throw and try to catch. You are at times adventurous at the park, and others your stand back and observe first, cautiously deciding when you will join in play. You seem to always have an eye on the swing and when it is free you bust your buns over to it for a turn. You are practicing giving turns and usually will give a turn with some reminders, saying "baby megan turn" when you are ready. You also like to pretend to swing on the rope, after watching the older kids doing it. You love to run! You love to play with your dad and have him run after you and hop over your head out at the park. You also love to put out pillows and jump into them. You recently started getting air when you try to jump from the ground...way to go biz! You can go up and down stairs, with your hand on the wall- you are such a big girl! You love to dance, and will take bun bun in your arms when a dancing song comes on and spin him around with you....too cute.

You are so smart. You know all of your ABC's and are starting to count and learn your colors. You are talking up a storm, and I laugh that you like to "narrate your life". Yesterday you said..."mom no like a cockroach". HA! You are starting to think creativly too, using a tupperware for a boat, a pot for a hat, and a little telephone as glasses. I love to see you invent and explore, you make me laugh. You are sensitive too, and are learning emotions- and will see someone crying and say "boy sad" and you give bodie your bun bun when he is crying or try to give him a hug and say "make him feel better". I love to see you grow in this way. You are starting to sing songs and remember books we read to you- reciting them later to yourself.

You are a good sleeper- through the night (unless you have a bad dream then you like to crawl in bed with mom and dad) and a good 2-3 hour nap each day. Usual you go to sleep easily, playing and talking to yourself in your crib. When I can I like to listen to you on the monitor you make me smile with your little stories. You are still a picky eater, but will try more things. You usually have cereal (love cherrios) for breakfast. You like chicken nuggets, fries, hummus and carrots, veggie soup, crackers, cheese bread, noodles, juice, pizza, hot dogs, and of course anything sweet! (fruit snacks, gummy worms and ice cream are favorites!)
You are starting to be interested in the potty- for the last 2 days have gone in your potty every time...telling me "gotta pee" and runnng up the stairs each time. I feel so proud of you. You can put your shoes and jackets on and can even do your shirt with a little help with the last arm. Your hair is long and you prefer to have it dangling in your eyes rather than in a pony tail. lol


You are also growing in your desire to be independent...and "no" is one of your favorite words currently. lol You are head strong and determined and are testing what you can do. Frustration is around you and often creeps up when you can't undo a buckle or things don't go your way. We are working on this together. What a big world you have to explore. I hope to be a good guide for you and help you when things are hard. I love you biz. I'm excited to see how you change and grow in the months and years to come.

Favorite shows-Dora and Elmo
Favorite book- My Big Girl Potty
Favorite toy- anything with Bun Bun, swinging at the park
Favorite Food- fruit snacks, ice cream
Favorite activity- "park and swing..park and swing"

my bodie lane 2 months

i can't believe how fast time is flying... bodie already 2 months! Poor boy has been congested much of his life but despite it all is such a good baby. He has days where he sleeps alot and others where he just catnaps...but he is almost always smiley and happy (minus gas, hunger, extreme sleepiness =)). He loves to be in your arms and is starting to let out a little giggle at times when you smile and play with him.

He usual sleeps until between 3-5am at night and loves being outside and likes his bath. He loves his soothie paci (the day we lost it not good- thanks to aunt mel for getting us some more!!) and loves the light fixure in our room too (will just look at it and giggle). Has started to enjoy the swing and being on the floor with some toys. His head control is improving and he can move it side to side, and enjoys facing out in the bjorn now like his big sis did! He loves watching iz all bundled in his towel when she brushes her teeth, and smiles so big looking at her every night after bath...it is too funny. Of course she loves seeing him laugh at her too.

Bodes is growing fast and too heavy to carry in one arm now (sad! his little baby stage went so fast) but I still take the many moments whenever I can to scoop him up and cuddle him close, smelling his sweet little furry head and holding his hands and feet in my hands. He also started lifting his chunky legs up into the air and just leaving them there like a little froggy pose. I forgot how babies do this! It is ridiculously cute if you ask me.

My bodie- so sweet, easy going, understanding- just perfect. I love you and am so excited to see you grow. While graham has been gone we have been skyping and bodie will look at him and smile big over and over...I just want to burn these sweet moments in my memory.

photo shoot

i made a collage with some of these photos but can't figure out how to post it, so will just put up some of the pictures...